Sunday, July 19, 2015

TRUE ORTHODOX AND ECUMENICAL NEWS: THE TITLE CHANGES HANDS!!!

            HERE'S YOUR NEW CHAMPION:MR. JTO, NATHAN LEE LEWIS !

 IN A STUNNING SURPRISE UPSET, THE AMERICAN METROPOLIA's ANNUAL INSANE CLOWN CLERGY TITLE CHANGED HANDS THIS YEAR AND WAS AWARDED TO A NEWCOMER, READER/PROPHET NATHAN LEE LEWIS.


                   Some of the contestants on parade during the proceedings.

   THE INSANE CLOWN CLERGY TITLE, A CARRYOVER FROM ITS MILAN SYNOD DAYS, HAS BEEN HELD FOR THE LAST FIVE CONSECUTIVE YEARS BY THE VETERAN MILANIST, THE BREW-DEACON JOSEPH MAHOMOND SUAIDEN.
  AN ANONYMOUS MILAN CLERGYMAN AGREED TO COMMENT ON THE RESULTS PROVIDING HIS IDENTITY REMAINED SECRET. SPEAKING OF THE BREW DEACON HE SAID, "HE IS A REALLY BIG DUDE YOU KNOW, I DON'T WANT TO GET ON THE GREAT ONE's BAD SIDE. I'VE ALWAYS SUPPORTED HIM BUT I WASN'T THAT SURPRISED THAT HE LOST IT THIS YEAR. ALTHOUGH JOE INITIALLY CAME ON STRONG AS USUAL, HE LOST STEAM AND LOOKED TIRED AND DISTRACTED IN THE FINAL ROUND. PERHAPS IT WAS FATIGUE BROUGHT ON BY HIS SPREADING HIMSELF OUT TOO THIN. . .  AND THAT'S A LOT OF SPREADING OUT THIN, LET ME TELL YOU. . . HE IS A REALLY BIG DUDE, YOU KNOW. BUT, I JUST HAD TO FOLLOW MY CONSCIENCE AND I CHANGED MY VOTE AT THE LAST MINUTE TO THE NEW CLOWN THIS YEAR BASED ON HIS UNBELIEVABLY RIVETING PERFORMANCES".



The Brew-Deacon striking a confident pose before the final results were revealed  

DESPITE JOSEPH MAHOMOND SUAIDEN'S LANDSLIDE PAST VICTORIES, HIS SELFLESS CONTRIBUTIONS TO THE REWRITING OF HIS SYNOD'S HISTORY, HIS PROMOTION OF HIS "TRUE CHURCHES" THEORIES AND HIS OBVIOUSLY MORE ELABORATE CLOWN MAKEUP, IT WASN'T ENOUGH THIS YEAR AND THE JUDGES RULED THAT THE FINAL VICTORY BELONGED TO THE PROPHET/READER NATHAN LEE LEWIS, THANKS TO HIS RIDICULOUS RANTING AND MANIACAL RAVING ON HIS TWISTED SLANDER BLOG, "JOURNEY TO ORTHODOXY". HIS COMICAL AND  INSANE ACCUSATIONS PROVED BEYOND A DOUBT THAT HE IS THE CRAZIEST MILANIST CLOWN OF THIS PAST YEAR, AND PERHAPS, THE BIGGEST DIMWITTED JOKER IN THE REGURGITATED MILAN SYNOD'S CONVOLUTED HISTORY... ONLY TIME WILL TELL.

                  A quiet moment of reflection on his trophy by the champion.

 AN EMOTIONAL BREW-DEACON JOSEPH, CLEARLY SHAKEN AND ON THE VERGE OF TEARS, MANAGED TO SHOW SOME GOOD SPORTSMANSHIP BY TAKING THE PROPHET/READER'S RIGHT HAND AND HOLDING IT HIGH IN THE AIR WHILE PRAISING HIM BEFORE THEY BOTH EMBRACED AND KISSED.
  THE BREW-DEACON VOWED THAT HE WOULD REGAIN THE COVETED TITLE AGAIN NEXT YEAR.


 Journey TO Knuckleheads From The Underworld CONGRATULATES PROPHET/READER NATHAN (or is it Mr JTO?) ON HIS WELL EARNED VICTORY !







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